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I am not only a mother of four distinctly variable and wonderful adult children but also three interesting step-children as well. I have four incredible grandsons and two beautiful bi-racial grand-daughters who I would loved to see more. My life experiences that coexist with deep seeded chronic depression and uncontrolled internal pain have caused me to reflect, ponder, wallow, and root out my own methods for Mental Health, Spiritual Awakening, and Revelation. You as a reader may be able to relate to my experiences or think I am a freak. Who knows? You may even become a mentor to me and others. The opportunities are endless.

Sunday, February 20, 2022

Why?

 Why?

Why do I do the things that I do?

And why do I bother to ask the reasons why?


Can't I just be happy about what the future brings

And let the past just slip on by?


That simple 3 letter word is full of trouble.

It's the plain and simple truth.


The answer comes in so many forms.

Will it be pain, will it be joy, will it be a lie?

Can I handle the truth?


What is why? 

What does it mean?

What am I asking? 


Why is a purpose or a reason it seams.

When excited, one might exclaim with deep indignation

or "Oh, that's absurd!"

or "Oh, you think so!" 

yes, why yes

Let's go? 

Maybe so


Why do I do the things that I do?

And why do I bother to ask the reasons why?


Can't I just be happy about what the future brings

Ad let the past just slip on by?


Holding onto yesterday keeps fear in my heart.

It's a choke hold on my emotions telling me "Don't even start."


And why oh why do I listen?

I don't understand.

How this 3 letter word keeps such a hold on me 

Like nobody else can


But now I wonder

Does it all really matter?

All this information I've collected in my heart of hearts


Sometimes why just took up all of my energy and precious time

When my knees should have dropped me to the ground

And eyes fixated toward the sky


All my why's turn to cries

like wings on doves

I let them fly

Let go of why

Finding my freedom

Living for Yeses now


Forward is the future

Even the smallest steps will get me there

I see happiness in letting go of yesterday

And all those why's that told me "No"


The new day is calling

The new dawn is here

How many yeses can deliver?

A new day is here

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