This blog is about life experiences, challenges, fighting demons of depression, chronic pain, anxiety. Learning how to live after being actively employed for three decades to suddenly disabled and fumbling with no income. Everyday Struggles, joys, failures and successes.
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I am not only a mother of four distinctly variable and wonderful adult children but also three interesting step-children as well. I have four incredible grandsons and two beautiful bi-racial grand-daughters who I would loved to see more. My life experiences that coexist with deep seeded chronic depression and uncontrolled internal pain have caused me to reflect, ponder, wallow, and root out my own methods for Mental Health, Spiritual Awakening, and Revelation. You as a reader may be able to relate to my experiences or think I am a freak. Who knows? You may even become a mentor to me and others. The opportunities are endless.
Monday, March 7, 2016
Daddy
This lyric is called Daddy. I awoke from a dream recalling some events from my past which triggered these thoughts and words. I wish I knew how to write music or could sing so you could here the melody behind the words and feel the emotional impact. So please just read the words and think about it.
Daddy
His hands were calloused from working on cars
Breath of whiskey night after night found at the local town bar
Fist like a hammer thrown down like Thor
Shards of glass all around
Dust settling on the ground as he tears apart the house once more
*
He's an angry man
A father who don't understand
The destructive path he has lead
Will create fear and dread
*
The children huddled up in the corner, heads down
Afraid to look up. Afraid to make a sound
Trying not to hear or see what they saw
But couldn't help themselves, peeked up and watched Mama on the floor
Trying to crawl...
Away
*
He's an angry man
Full of jet fuel drunk
he don't understand
that rage and fists of dynamite
will reverse some day
And he'll lose the fight
*
Black and blue Mama finally found her voice
No more patience, no more kindness, no more tolerance
Mama left behind the house of sticks
No foundation, only blood filled mud and broken bricks
She will cry for him not one more time
But the children are still in line
*
He's an angry man
Still drinking all day, it's his only plan
His boys now men, it's a level playing field
He's become weaker now
And his hammer does yield
He's a bitter man
*
The boys now men, they too find their voice
On has a hammer just like his bitter Old Man
The war IS on
Now Daddy understands
Just how it feels
When the love is gone
The lights go out, only pain is revealed
*
His son is an angry man
His son is a bitter man
Lost to drugs and alcohol
The relationship broken
Forever lost to all
*
His baby boy is angry too
A belligerent drunk
Proud to be like you
He's a mirror image and aren't you proud
He's an angry man
He's a bitter man
And... He don't understand
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